For my introductory post, I’d like to make something clear: my intent is to be humorously real about parenting and call out some of the bullshit products, services, and glossed over aspects of caring for babies. What’s my credibility? Nothing! My past two jobs were selling toys, and child care. I have a five month old baby, and am now a stay at home mom. Most of my parenting skills are either natural instinct, book learnin’, or passed down by my mom (who also worked in child care for many years).

Nothing I say is to be taken as sage advice, it’s more like an unloading of “what the fuck is the purpose of this?” based on what I see aimed at mothers on social media. Think of it as wine time with other mom friends; complaining about your partner (they always leave dirty diapers on the damned changing table), questioning the expansive wallets of other families (a customized leather rocking horse with Swarovski crystal embellishments?!), comparing more “interesting” aspects of children (does your baby cough and fart at the same time?).

My only aim is to amuse and delight other moms who are tired of seeing perfectly beautiful families while thinking of how you really should’ve married rich/had kids earlier/joined a gym/focused on giving up carbs. Nobody is perfect and this is the proof. #goals

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